I'm still here

I can't even begin to tell you how busy November and December are for my family.  Everyone is busy this time of year, this is so true.  We have this little internet store, www.FunBeyondDriven.com (as well as in Ebay store - http://stores.ebay.com/Fun-Beyond-Driven) where we sell all kinds of awesome collectibles and things just PERFECT for holiday gift giving.  So as you can imagine November and December are CRAZY with orders, shipping, etc.

In the craziness last week, and somewhat the week before, I let my healthy eating goals fall by the wayside.  At some point last week (ok, Monday of last week), I decided, "Thursday is Thanksgiving.  I'm going to be out of town visiting relatives - eating, drinking, and being merry.  Screw this whole week."  And that's pretty much what I did.  I ate a lot (mostly sweets, which I love).  I drank a lot on our 2 day trip north (I sort of fell in love with soft red wine, and hand-crafted Black & Tan beer).  I didn't track.  I snacked.  I overate.  I didn't exercise one bit from Tuesday morning to Sunday morning. 

To the tune of a NEARLY FIVE POUND gain.  That's not the type of gain I can blame on a lot of sodium the day before, or pre-menstrual bloat, or anything other than over indulgence. 

So what was my plan after I decided I was giving up on last week?  To push it even harder beginning Saturday morning, which was my weigh in.  I was back home, ready to face the challenge.  And believe me, after eating so much junk and having my body (mind?) crave it, Saturday was TOUGH.  There might have been a time or two when I nearly lost my shit and gave in.  BUT I DIDN'T. I ate well.  It was a very successful first day, despite the fact that all I wanted was most dressing, mashed potatoes, peanut butter balls, and pecan pie. (I'm so thankful that we didn't host Thanksgiving.  We had ZERO leftovers).

Sunday was good - I did some yoga in the morning and ate well that day until a slight derailment in the evening.  I tracked it all and have planned to move my ass this week to make up for it (which I already have).

I'm hardcore until Christmas, folks (at which point I'll take a day or two off). 

Hop along for the ride if you like.  I try and post here as much as I can in the coming month, but rest assured (because I'm sure you've all been gnawing at y our nails wondering where I've been) that I'll be back in force on my blog in January!

Put Up Or Shut Up Goals Wrap Up - 11/9 - 11/12

So I'm sure you've all been waiting and holding your breath wondering how I did last week with my mini goals, right?  Well, I'm here to disappoint you!

Truth told, the end of last week was somewhat abysmal but I'm building from that feeling and learning from it (again!).  Here's the wrap up!

Last Week's Weigh In   (11/5) - 223.4
This Week's Weigh In (11/12) - 224.8
                               Change:    + 1.4

Yes, that's a gain.  Here's an assessment of how I did on my goals -

1) Track that shit. : D-
Each day, Wednesday - Friday I started out tracking.  I made the effort in the morning but then by mid-day I faltered, mostly because I wanted to eat junk and who wants to write down that they ate junk?  Well, the truth is, if I junk I have to track it.  If I track it, I'm very likely to adjust my day accordingly and move on.  This past week was a fail in this category.  This coming week won't be.

2) Drink the water:  D+
I didn't drink zero water, so it's not an "F." but the effort was really crappy so it's certainly not a win. 

3) 5 - EVERY DAMN DAY:  F
Thursday was a Fall Fun Fest at my daughter's school.  At the Fall Fun Fest, my kids and mother-in-law won THREE items.  THREE.  One was a tray of whoopie pies (which I did not try).  One was a fancy white cinnamon cake (which wasn't great but that didn't stop me from eating three pieces of it on Friday).  The other was a Texas Sheet Cake.  OH. MY. GOD.  It was really good-ish.  So good it made me sick to my stomach, but again - that didn't stop me.  This being said, there were 2 of the 3 days I was shooting for where I don't think I ate any vegetables or fruits at all.  That's not 5.  I failed.


So how is THIS week going so far?  Couldn't be better.  My head's out of my ass, so to speak.  I've met my water goal on Saturday and Sunday both.  I have tracked everything.  I went to the gym on Saturday & we went for a family walk yesterday.  I'm earning A's in all of my goals.

For this week, I'm keeping my same goals as last week.  I'm keeping these until I master them and then I'll add more or change them up. 

What are your goals for this week? 

Put Up or Shut Up Goals

It's time for me to break the silence, don't you think?  The long and short of things is that I'm still here, not in my dark place any longer, but I have been floundering, as before.  However, I'm not going to be one of those people who says, "I've fallen off the wagon and I'm getting back on" twelve hundred times.  It's time to put up or shut up, folks, and I think I've shut up long enough.

That all being said, I'm taking a cue from my friend Jaemie and I'm going to make some goals, and I'm going to report on how well I did with those goals at the end of the pre-appointed time.  It's worked for me before and believe me, if there's a remote chance that even one person will be reading this and will be wondering if I've reached my goals, I'll do it.

The start of my new week happens on Saturday.  I weigh in on those days and that's when my points reset.  So, since we're on Wednesday now I'll state my goals for now until Saturday, then I'll try my best to recap how it all went.  When I say "try my best" I just mean that sometimes weekends get away from me, but I will check in either on the weekend or in the first few days of the week.

So here we go:

Put Up or Shut Up Goals 

1) Track that shit.  
Fact is, I know that for me, I HAVE to track what I'm eating.  I know there are stronger people than I out there who can really do well with not tracking and can eat intuitively.  I would love to be among their numbers but I just am not there yet.  Part of this journey is being honest with myself and if I'm going to be perfectly honest, I can't be trusted with "eating intuitively."  Because I will tell that intuitive voice that says, "You don't need that cupcake" to shut the hell up.  So yeah.  Track.

2) Drink the water
Since I work from my home I always have a fresh supply of water and a working toilet to use when I need to pass it.  So really there's no excuse for not hitting my 120 oz per day water goal EVERY DAY.  When I don't hit it, that's just me being lazy.  So that's the goal.

3) 5 - EVERY DAMN DAY
I will eat 5 servings of fruits and vegetables every day.  If I don't, you have permission to kick me in the shins.

That's it for this half-week.  I'll check in and let you all know how I did. 

Thanks for listening!

Proper Math - My First VLOG!

Please to excuse the stumbling around my words, general awkwardness, lack of concentration, overuse of the word "freakin,'" upside-down preview picture with crazy-woman eyes, and jitters.  This is my first vlog and I promise to get better.  I did this in my pantry - pretty ironic for a weight loss blogger, isn't it? 

In A Dark Place

I had a post I was going to publish today, but it just doesn't seem the day for it.  I'm in a dark place.  It's just been about the past 24ish hours and these funks don't last long for me, but I'm riding it out and learning while I do.

In my darkness I'm trying to remember that food's not a comfort and that I'm in the process of building a stronger me.

Please stay with me.  I know I haven't been terribly present here, but I'm usually always available if you need me.  I am, 99% of the time, a frightfully positive and upbeat person and truthfully I was going to skip writing anything today (y'know, the ol' "If you don't have anything positive to say...." thing).  But I wanted you all to know that even the most upbeat and positive among us have dark days - days where they can't stop the tears and can't quite pinpoint why.  It's clear I just need to let them fall.

I want you to know, dear reader (yes, I totally ripped that off from Stephen King), that I am fine.  I am, at the core of me, a very happy person.  I am thankful.  I am one-fourth of an incredibly awesome family.  I just need to feel what I'm feeling.

(and also - yes, one off day won't derail me.  I have said this to others more times than I can count and I need to remember my own advice)

Until later - I hope you all are well.

#Shrinkvivor Check In *and* Stuff Just Got Real Up In Here

Today's the second weigh-in for the challenge I'm involved in over at The Sisterhood of The Shrinking Jeans.  It's called "Shrinkvivor" based on the reality program of a similar name.  I really don't want to be kicked out of my tribe but it may just be a reality this week.

On my first check in last week, I had lost 4.6 pounds from our initial weigh-in!  Success!  This week?  Not so much.  I could make 6,000 excuses about why I gained (yes, you read that right - GAINED) 1.8 pounds since last Wednesday (which honestly f's with my mind because my Weight Watchers WI day is Saturday, but whatever) but the fact remains that the decisions I've made regarding those Devil Cookies (Strawberry Shortcake Cookies - my own invention.  Maybe I'm the Devil) were all mine. My exercise was good-ish (new word!) but could have been better-ish (another one - two in the same sentence!)

So what's all this mean?  It means I took a minute to update my Weight Loss Spreadsheet that I keep.  I hadn't updated it since late August because, you know, it wasn't pretty.  But I sat down and updated it anyway.  You can see all the dirty truths on my "Progress" page, which you can find at the top of the blog.  But the long and short of it is I been in the 30 Pounds Lost club since JUNE 20TH.  I have been losing and gaining the same 5 pounds for THREE AND A HALF MONTHS.  And that, my friends, mean I've been a Half-Asser.

In updating my spreadsheet I also realized that I started recording my weigh ins A YEAR AGO.  10/4/10 was my first one and while I will certainly take 35 pounds lost in a year because that's a hell of a lot less than I weighed last year at this time, I know in my heart I can do better than this. And aren't I trying to teach my children that if you're going to do something, do it with passion and drive?

So, all I can say right now is that I'm going to push harder.  I'm going to keep this all in mind during the moments that I feel week (like with those stupid damn cookies, or when I feel stressed out).  I want more for myself.  I want more for my family - and nobody's going to give it to me.

I HAVE TO EARN IT.

So here's me, setting off all fresh and stuff....ready to earn it!

How To Make Your Own Laundry Soap (A Tutorial!)

Ok, I'll start this off by saying that this post has NOTHING to do with weight loss, or being fat, or eating, or any of that regular stuff I write about.  This post has to do with making your own laundry soap.  I've been doing this for a while now and I've got the process down pretty good.  When I post on Facebook that I'm doing it, I get a lot of requests for the recipe I use.  Honestly, I just Googled a recipe and tried it, then tried another after that one until I found one I like.

I have a family of four plus an in-home daycare with four extra full-time children.  That's a lot of laundry each week, and I usually make a double batch of what I'm about to teach you how to make - and it typically lasts us about 6 months.

Here's how you do it:

Tools You'll Need:

• 3.5 gallon bucket or larger
• medium saucepan
• grater
• wooden spoon
• bowl or cup for dipping
• dry 1-cup measure
• funnel
• wet ingredient measure
• clean and empty detergent containers

(Note - all my tools are used only for soap making.  I find the idea of using the saucepan I melt soap in to make pasta a little disgusting)

 

Ingredients You'll Need:

• one bar of soap (I use Ivory)
• 2 cups powdered Borax
• 2 cups washing soda (NOT baking soda)
• water

You can find the Borax and washing soda in the laundry section of just about any supermarket (including WalMart)

What To Do:

Pour 1 quart of water in a saucepan and bring it to a boil.  While this happening, get out some of your aggressions on the bar of soap and use the grater on it!  Although it'll look like grated cheese when you're done with it, I swear it tastes NOTHING like grated cheese.  Don't eat it!

When the water has come to a boil, reduce the heat to medium-low and add the grated soap.  Continually stir until the soap is melted.  It's going to take a little bit, so be patient.  While melting, you'll have to squish the clumps of soap up against the sides of the saucepan with your wooden spoon.  Even though it doesn't seem like it will all melt, EVER, it will.  I promise.  When it's melted, it'll look a bit like this:

Now, dump this melted soap mixture into your clean bucket.  To that, add the 2 cups of Borax.  Continually stir until the Borax is dissolved  Don't get freaked out, the stuff is going to gel up - that just means the Borax is doing it's job!  Once it's all dissolved, it'll look like this:

I know, I know.  It sort of looks like grits.  Again, don't eat this stuff.  Totally does NOT taste like grits.



Next, add the 2 cups of washing soda and stir until dissolved.  This time, your mixture will get all milky-looking and although it's still a bit gel-y (new made up word!), there will be a litlte grittiness to it when you're done.  That's ok! Keep stirring a little while longer.  The mixture will be thick.  When done, it will look like so -

Next, you need to add 2 gallons of water to this stuff.  Continually stir as you add, so everything's incorporated as it should be.  This is an easy step, so no detail is necessary!  When it's completely mixed, you'll get a big bucket of laundry soap looking like this:

It's time to transfer your concoction to your containers!  Do this carefully as the stuff will still be warm.  For goodness sake, DON'T SPILL IT!  Set up your filling station like this -

This is where the bowl comes in.  I use it as a dipper.  Go slowly.  Wipe down each bottle after filling. Give the mixture a stir after each filling to prevent settling.

Then guess what?  You're done.  Clean all your materials, and then store them.  I store everything in the bucket.

I use 1/2 - 1 cup of this soap per load of laundry, depending on the size & nastiness of the load.  Be sure to shake the container of soap well before each use.  It will separate and gel, but a really good shake before use will combine everything again.  I make a double batch of this for about $5 and as I said, it lasts me 6 months.  So essentially I spend $10 a year on laundry soap, and I know exactly what's going into my soap.

I should add that this detergent won't suds up much (if at all), but don't worry - your clothes are getting clean!

If you give this a try, please let me know how you like it!