Monday, November 12, 2012

I haven't said goodbye....

The title of this blog is "Goodbye, Fat Girl!"  When I first started it I was all excited about commuting to weight loss, and I delved into the weight loss community online.  I felt incredible support and saw some great results.  Then I don't know what happened.  I got tired of being "good," I suppose.  I got lazy, mostly.  Once I ran my first 5k, I sort of fell off the map. 

And EVERY FREAKING TIME that I come back here and write a post it goes something like this - "I'm ready go get back on the wagon.  I am going to do what it takes to get healthy because I really want this and BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH."  And what happens?  I do flippin' awesome for a week.  I feel like I can rule the world.  And then the second week comes.  And I get cocky.  And I stop tracking.  And I gain back everything I lost that first week, and then some.  And then I say, "SCREW THIS."

This is a mental thing.  It's all mental.  I know the science.  I know how to make healthy choices.  But what I don't know how to do is get over my mental issues.  I'm grasping at straws trying to find something that helps me open up myself.  Weight Watchers was another bomb for me this time (not WW's fault - MINE). 

So I've joined yet another challenge, but with some pretty amazing Thirty-One sisters, including my friend "Jean."  I can't stop searching, guys.  Hang in there with me if you're so inclined.  If you're tired of my wishy-washiness, that's ok too. 

But I'm still here.  I haven't said "goodbye" to that fat girl yet, but I plan to.  Even if it takes the rest of my life.  I will bid her a fond farewell.

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