2011 Weight Loss Wrap Up

Despite my best efforts to totally derail myself at the end of 2011 (or so it would seem), I count 2011 in the success column.  And while it's just the first day of 2012, I feel like wrapping up 2011 is the perfect way to start the new year.

My Successes:

January

• I won a blog re-design from the fabulous April Showers.  I LOVE the new look of my blog.  Looking at it feels like home.

February

• I started using Twitter as an effective means of weight loss support. 
• I felt feelings of success and pride about my efforts
• I explored my feelings of inadequacy and failure.  I still struggle with them but acknowledging them was a huge step

March

• I tried to help people start their own weight loss journey by exploring why and how I started.
• I tried (and ultimately failed) to reach 100 days in a row of healthy eating.  But this challenge introduced me to Jessie, one of my very best friends.  I love her (busted) guts.
• I started exploring the idea of weekly goals, which is something I'd like to get back to.
• I had a good bit of Revolutionary Thinking.  I realized what works for me and I made it work.

April

• I started guest posting on other blogs
• Monthly goals also became important to me
• I tracked what I ate like a fiend.
• I helped my daughter struggle with her body image because of the comments of another student (in Kindergarten!)
• I showed off my weight loss so far at my father-in-law's wedding
• I explored picking myself up & dusting myself off after a binge

May

• I delved deeper into the complex feelings I have for my mother and the effect I've let them have on my life.
• I decided "I never try anything, I just do it."
• I explored the Psychology of My Weight Loss
• I turned 36
• I tried to put together a healthy road trip with my family

June

• I finally acknowledged my addiction to food 
• I dug deeper into the Psychology of My Weight Loss in relation to control
• I discovered a sort-of love of shopping for clothing

July

• I had a revelation about my tendency to binge
• I changed my weigh-in day to Saturday
• I discovered that I love summer - and my new shoulders
• I started running and bought real running shoes

August

• I started loving myself and letting myself be happy.
• I took a cruise to The Bahamas with my family & wore a 2 piece bathing suit IN PUBLIC!
• I got back on track with my running training after vacation
• I hit a patch of depression but climbed back out of it 

September

• I ran for 20 minutes consecutively
• I began participating in the Shrinkvivor Challenge
• I completed my first 5k race with a time of 39:45

October

• I taught people how to make their own laundry soap
• I posted my first (and so far only) VLOG

November

• I tried to get on track by Putting Up or Shutting Up ( mostly I shut up)
• I still couldn't seem to get on track (but I got to thinking about why)

December

• I tried really hard to keep up with the #resound11 prompts, but my outlook got the better of me and I was diagnosed with depression and am being treated for it.
• I decided on 12 goals for the year 2012 (one each month)
  I tried to end the year on an optimistic note

I'm not setting any resolutions, but I will work on the monthly goals I outlined in my #resound11 post about goals for the coming year.  The way the past month has gone, it would be easy to say that 2011 was a failure.  I lost 27 pounds in one year.  I choose to see that as a positive.  I know I can do better in 2012 and all I can say right now is that I'll put forth the effort.

Please join me.  Let's build an incredible community of support!

Love, peace & happiness to all of you out there!  Let's rock the hell out of 2012!!

I'm Not Gone

I haven't been here, that's obvious.

I haven't abandoned blogging, that is not so obvious.

I've had things going on, just like everyone else with a pulse.  I'm climbing out of the abyss and I'm mentally forming a plan to tackle 2012.

One thing I will be doing with more regularity is blogging.  Truth is:  I need you guys way more than you need me.  I've put back on approximately 10 pounds.  I'm sorting through some mental stuff. 

But I'll get there.  I'll beat this.  I know in my heart that I will. 

And I'll be ok. 

2012 is going to rock, ya'll.  Just you wait and see.

Who's with me?

#resound11 Post 14 - "Home"

#resound11 Post 14 - "Home"

When did you feel most at home this year: in your life, in your space, in your career, in your skin? What factors make that situation feel like home? Do certain comforts make your space feel like home? Does being with certain people make you feel complete? Is there an activity in which you excel that makes you feel like you're doing what you were meant to do?

This is your life. Where do you live? Where is home?

I used to think that "home" was the house I grew up in, even after I moved 750 miles away from it in 1998.  But after my father died in 2001, I didn't feel that way any longer.  Walking into that house didn't feel like home any more.  It just felt like walking into a house.  Someone else's full of someone else's memories.

Where is home?  In my house, where I can lay eyes on all three of my most favorite people - my husband and two daughters.  We all spend so much time together that it feels strange not to be near them.  I work from home as does my husband.  So we're always here.  Just having them in the same space as me makes me realize I can endure anything....I can get through anything because I have the love of three brilliant people to help me through my darkest of dark days.

If we are in a hotel on vacation....that's home. Anywhere I can be with them is home.....they are truly my safe place. 

#resound11 Post 13 - "Best Gift"

#resound11 Post 13 - "Best Gift"

What was the best gift you gave yourself this year? Did you buy big, fluffy towels? Did you have a massage on a day when you really needed it? Did you forgive someone and give yourself the freedom from that grudge?

I wish I could say I've made peace with a few people that I should, but that hasn't happened this year and I don't see it happening before the end of 2011, either.

Typically I'm not the type to spend money on myself.  It brings on enormous feelings of guilt (that's a whole other blog post) and the truth is if I'm spending it brings me much more joy to spend on others than myself. 

But a week or 2 ago, I attended a Thirty-One Gifts party at my friend Beth's.  It was nice to get out and meet other women (though the thought terrified me) and I actually ordered something for myself.  While I can't wait to get the organizing purse that I ordered, the best part of this gift is that it planted the seed in my head for a future business opportunity. 

And honestly, that's all I'll say about that save for the fact that the thought of it really excites me!

#resound11 Prompt 12 - "12 in 12"

#resound11 Prompt 12 - "12 in 12"

Take today to talk about 12 things you would like to accomplish in 2012. These 12 things can be 12 resolutions, 12 changes in your life, 12 wines you'd like to drink, 12 cities you'd like to visit, or 12 monthly goals. The decision is yours. Good luck and have fun!

There are a million things I'd like to accomplish in 2012, but I thought the idea of nailing down 12 things - one thing to focus on each month, was a really interesting idea and one that seemed like it was actually doable.  So here's my list (subject to change throughout 2012) -



January: Learn to sew AND learn to crochet
I have it on pretty good authority that Santa MIGHT be bringing me a sewing machine for Christmas.  And as per my deal with Jessie, we'll be starting a Grandma club in January and will teach ourselves to crochet via YouTube.  We're so awesome.

February: Focus on hydration – meet my 120oz/daily water goal each day
This is something I struggle with (along with everything else lately).  But when I'm on this mark, I'm usually on the mark of everything else.

March: Eat out/take out no more than once per week
There's a place in my town that has the yummiest of yums at a great price.  But not much of it is healthy-living-friendly.  Curbing this little addiction will not only help my waistline but my wallet, too.

April: Add something to my savings account each week
I try to make my savings account like a regular bill each week but a lot of times, I seem to let things get in the way, like Christmas, and "I better pay the light bill."  But I've been following a budget lately and this will be a great habit to get into.

May: Do something outside with my kids each day
My kids, like most other human children, love being outside.  I need to foster that love and participate in it.

June: Pick Strawberries, and freeze them for later useI always say I'm going to do this every year but it never happens.  I LOVE strawberries and so does my family.  I think this would be a fun thing to do with the girls, too.

July: Clean out my closets
Yeah.  They need it.  There are only 4 closets in my house, but two of them are HUGE.  This needs to be done, and thoroughly.  There is a lot of stuff we're hanging on to for no apparent reason other than it's behind a closed door and nobody can see it.

August: Try a new fruit/vegetable each week
I get stuck in a rut, and August seems a great time to try some new produce.

September: Read 2 books for pleasure
I let this go far too often - letting my busy life get the better of me.  But reading for pleasure is something I really enjoy and I think I should get back into it.

October: Follow my daily cleaning schedule every day
I have a daily cleaning schedule that I follow SOMEtimes.  I'd like to get into the habit of following it ALL the time.

November: Spend time daily reflecting on those things for which I give thanks
I usually do this each November on Facebook, and it really brings home what a blessed life I lead.  I'd like to continue this tradition, and go more in depth with it by journaling about those things I'm thankful for.

December: Cross off no fewer than 2 things from my bucket list AND add at least 2 things
I let my bucket list get dusty.  It's time to start living, folks.  Not just in December but YEAR FREAKING ROUND!

What do YOU want to accomplish in 2012?

Catching Up On #resound11 Posts!

I'm behind, folks...I'm behind.  I'm going to go ahead and catch up on my reflection on the year 2011 with #resound11 posts....Here ya go!

#resound 11 Prompt #6 - Thelma & Louise:

Who is the Thelma to your Louise? Who is your partner in crime? Did you reacquaint yourself with an old friend? Did you make a new friend? Or, perhaps, you are a lone ranger?

This year I've been blessed with making two wonderful friends in the Twitter/Blog world -  Jessie, who blogs at A Last Confession, and Jaemie (creator of #resound11) who will be blogging at her own site which is in the works.

I started talking/texting Jessie at the beginning of the summer, I think?  Not exactly sure when it was, but I'm so glad I did.  We text each other daily - about weight loss and a billion other things (including, but not limited to: The Amish, Jerry Reed, Boone on Lost, kids, music, and what's for dinner.  She's become a very dear friend.  I've called her the Thelma to my Louise for a very long time.

Jaemie fell in with us quite easily.  We all have similar interests and personalities.  She's a wonderful resource on all things gluten-free and she's just an all around great person and phenomenal support.


#resound11 Prompt #7 - Goals

What goal did you set for yourself and achieve this year? Did you achieve something you didn't think you could? 

The goal I set and achieved that I'm most proud of is training for and competing in my first 5k Race.  You can read about it here (because I know you want to, and because I'm so freaking proud of it): First 5k Race Recap.  Training wasn't easy but somewhere toward the middle I started loving it.  I started looking forward to running and I was SO proud of finishing that race.  When I can get back to running outside, I can't wait to do it again. Summer 2012 will ROCK!


#resound11 Prompt 8 - Trademark Phrase

What's your trademark phrase? Not sure? How about a quote or saying that you repeat often?

Seriously.  I say "seriously" way too often.  Seriously.  Not new for 2011, though.


#resound11 Prompt 9 - Photo of The Year

Today, please post your best photo of the year. It doesn't have to be the best technically, it doesn't have to be the best visually, but it should be a photo that you consider the best. Does it have special meaning? Is it of a significant event or moment? Share it with us!

See prompt 7....this is my favorite picture of me from this year, right after finishing my first 5k Race.

I don't look particularly beautiful, but can you see how ACCOMPLISHED I feel?  It was glorious!


#resound11 Prompt 10 - Experiences

Today is a bit of a choose your own adventure: write (paint, draw, photograph, record, etc.) about your best experience this year. If that's not your cup of joe, write about your worst experience. Feeling chatty? Share both your best and worst moments.

Choosing just one "best" experience is just not who I am.  I thought and thought about this one and it just isn't coming to me.  I live my life in a succession of best experiences.  I try my best to make each thing I do a best experience. It doesn't always work.  I have shitty days.  But I choose to do my best to be positive and see the adventure in even the crappiest of situations.  So my best experience of the year?  I guess if I have to choose something it would be watching my children grow and learn for another year.  They delight me!

#resound11 Prompt 11 - Best Meal

What is the best meal or best food that you have eaten all year? Did you make it? Did you get it at a restaurant? Do your best to describe the food and the experience with us.

Hmm.  Best food all year....I don't know.  I try to delight in everything I eat.  I'm a fat girl who loves food.  But something that I really like that I came up with this year is a lighter version of ballpark nachos that I could literally eat every day and be happy.  I love the meals we ate on the cruise, for sure.  Mostly because I didn't have to make them but I wasn't worried about points/calories too.  But truthfully?  I just love eating.  

#resound11 Post 5 - "Theme Song"

For entry 5 of #resound11 post, I'm to write about the following:

If your life was a television show, what would its theme song be? What music would be cued at the start of the show or when you entered a scene?

Think about this past year. Is there a song that you've heard that has really struck a chord, one that has spoken to you? Maybe there's a song that goes along with your one word for 2011. Maybe there is a song that you've heard that instantly cheers you up or makes you think of a special moment that happened this year?

Maybe it's childish, but hey - I'm a daycare provider and listen to kids music a lot.  But the song "Family" has stuck with me this past year.  It's line "When you're in my heart, you're in my family" is exactly how I feel.  There are blood relatives I have that I don't feel are truly a part of my family.  But there are folks that live hundreds of miles away from me, that I've never laid eyes on, that are a part of my family because they're in my heart. 

Confession:  This song makes me all misty EVERY time I hear it.  If it comes on NickJr my daughters summon me to the room so we can either 1) hold each other & rock while it's on, or 2) have an impromptu dance party.

#resound11 Post 4 - "Superpower"

For entry 4 of #resound11 post, I'm to write about the following:

Faster than a speeding bullet. More powerful than a locomotive. Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound ... we know you've got one. What's your 2011 superpower?

In 2011 I learned that I'm pretty damn good at starting over.  Which, on one hand makes a person sort of feel like a failure because they  HAVE to start over.  But me, it makes me feel like a success because I'M NOT GIVING UP.  Oh how I've wanted to give up on Weight Watchers, blogging, Twitter, all that goes with this weight loss journey for me.

But there's no way in hell I'm doing that.  I'll stick with it.  I'll do this until I'm where I need to be.  I'll start over as many times as I need to because starting over 1000 times is better than giving up once.

#resound11 Post 3 - "Virtues"

For entry 3 of #resound11 post, I'm to write about the following:

What good have you done in 2011? Where do you really shine? What have you done that makes you proud of yourself?

The one place in my life where I really shine is motherhood.  I'm not perfect, that's for sure.  But it is the one aspect of my life I don't mind taking a compliment for and the one place in my life, above all others, that I feel is the most important.

Each day may not be pretty or perfect but my children know they're loved.  They know they can count on me.  They know that I would never hurt them on purpose and that they always have somewhere safe to come.  They know I will always take the time to snuggle with them or listen to them when they have something they need to say.  They know that they are part of a family who functions as a unit and that cares about each other and looks out for each other.

Not all children have that. 

They know what "mother" is supposed to mean.  They know that no matter what, I'll be here for them and love them.

#resound11 Post 2 - "Vices"

For entry 2 of #resound11 post, I'm to write about the following:

Did you slip back into any old habits that you wish you hadn't? Did you gain any new habits that you wish you would have walked away from? Did you discover the evils of Nutella? 'Fess up ... we won't tell.
This prompt may sound dark and dreary, but we'll be back to our sunshine selves tomorrow. Take today to reflect on a vice (or two or twelve) that you'd like to give up in the new year.

Vices.....and not the kind you find in Miami, I assume, since I'm not all coked up like 1980s Miami evidently was.

To be honest, here toward the end of the year I can see some of my fat girl eating surface again which has to be just cut out.  My friend Jessie and I are slotted to make a clean slate starting tomorrow (we both have Saturday weigh ins) and plan to be all hardcoare until Christmas together.  Traditionally we DO fall apart together, but we also can kick some serious ass together, so I'm looking forward to that!!

#resound11 Post 1 - One Word

I'm participating in a little project called #resound11 that my pal Jaemie kicked into gear mostly because....well, I like Jaemie and I'll trust her judgement that this will be a good experiment.  Many folks were upset over not having a repeat of something called #reverb10 isn't going to be happening this year and that this #resound11 will sort of be the same thing.  What the hell, I'll play along!

Today's Subject:

"What is one word that you would use to describe your 2011? Why does that word sum up your year? (We'll be writing about our one word for 2012 later, so just focus on this year!)"

My one word to sum up the past year?  SUPPORT

When starting this weight loss journey I never would have thought I'd get the support that I have this past year.  I've made online friends that I know will last a lifetime.  That's good for a girl who's not so great at making friends out there in the real world.  There's folks from twitter I talk to EVERY DAY via text and we support each other, cry on each other's shoulders, celebrate each other's victories and listen to each other rant about the goings on of our lives. 

And there are people I talk to less frequently who are just as wonderful to me.  When I reach out on Twitter, I ALWAYS get a response.  It's quite honestly amazing.  The awesome folks who read my blog?  Incredible.  You're all part of this network of support that keeps me going when I don't want to anymore.  I've been in a funk since early JUNE, folks.  And why am I still keepin' on keepin' on?  Because of all of you and the folks on Twitter that help me out daily.

Without the great support system I've cultivated over the past year, I'd still be 262.0 pounds and miserable every day of my life.

You all mean THE WORLD to me.