Monday, February 28, 2011

My Goals For March

I totally stole this idea from Shannon at 365 Days of Weight Loss - but she got me thinking that maybe I need to evaluate myself and set some goals for the month of March.  So here they are:

  1. I am starting the month weighing in at 244.4.  I would like to end it at at least 235.
  2. I will try two new healthy recipes this month.
  3. I will get to the gym 3 days per week.  If I have to skip a day due to an unforeseen circumstance, I will make up the "appointment" and go another day.
  4. While I am at the gym I will utilize every minute to my advantage.
  5. I will take time, each day, to set a healthy example for my daughters.  It could me something as simple as reminding them I love them the way they are to having them help me prepare a healthy meal for our family.
  6. I will drink at least 64 ounces of water per day

I am thinking that once I master these goals, I will set the bar higher for April.

What are your goals?

Guest Post: Mary Talks About How To Succeed At Weight Loss

Hey there!  We have another awesome guest poster today!  Mary, to me, is a total rockstar.  She is motivated and REALISTIC.  So many times we expect ourselves to be super-human.  Once we start a weight loss plan, we expect things to happen overnight.  Mary's here to give us some tips and tricks on what has worked for her to lose 100 pounds in just 7 months.  Be sure to check out her blog and follow her.  You won't be sad you did! 


My name is Mary, and I blog at [a small loss]. The name of my blog refers to a dream I had before committing to lose weight, in which I realized I was willing to sacrifice both vision and hearing in order to understand what it felt like to be unburdened by excess weight. In terms of my long-term goal, my physical loss would be anything but small: I had 210 pounds to lose.

Now, about seven months later, I am over halfway to my goal, with less than 100 pounds to go. I am constantly amazed by this success - I have been a big girl my entire life, and despite always wanting to change for the better, I never seemed to get the knack of losing weight for good. This time, though, I seem to have figured out a plan that works for me, and the results are speaking for themselves.

345 to 232 - a small loss, indeed
I get asked quite frequently about the details of my plan, what I have been doing to lose over a hundred pounds. I think the secret is that there really are no secrets. Regardless of what dietary plan someone chooses to follow, the success of every weight loss plan boils down to eating better, eating less, and moving more. It's a hard truth to swallow, I suppose - everyone seems to want a quick easy fix, and the makers of diet pills and gimmick exercise machines have made a fortune off of it. We didn't gain the weight overnight, though, so we can't reasonably expect it to fall off that quickly.

That said, there are a few things we *can* do to ensure that the journey to lose weight is a little easier for us - not easy, just easier. These, I would say, are my "secrets," though again, they're hardly secrets.

1. Surround yourself with like-minded people.
This is unbelievably important, especially when you're first getting started - finding or creating a system where you feel supported is absolutely essential. Many of my past attempts to lose weight were unsuccessful because I felt completely alone in my journey, so this time, I created a blog to get in touch with people who understood this part of my life. The community I have found online is invaluable to me, and I owe so much of my success to the advice and support I have received from other bloggers. Does this mean you need a blog? Of course not - this is just what worked for me. Your support system could be a friend, a family member, a co-worker - or several, the more the merrier!

2. Take baby steps.
Again, excess weight is not gained overnight, so losing it will take some time. Going immediately from couch potato to workout fiend might work for some people, but odds are that if you overdo it, you'll burn out and lose interest. Slow and steady wins the race! Changing eating habits is the same way - it may be easier to phase out the less-healthy choices than quit them completely and all at once. One of my big weaknesses has always been cheese - I would binge on whole blocks in one sitting - so whenever I wanted to lose weight, I figured cheese would have to go, and I cut it out entirely. I always ended up craving it so badly that I would snap and binge; this could have been avoided by allowing myself a small portion. I'm still working through this part of my recovery, and I honestly don't trust myself with a block of cheese just yet, but I've found that buying a single piece of string cheese will satisfy my cravings.

3. Make sustainable changes.
Weight loss is more than just the loss itself - when focusing on how to reach your goal, it's easy to lose sight of the fact that you'll need a plan to maintain your loss once you get there. Despite what celebrities may claim, working out six hours a day and drinking only lemon juice and cayenne pepper aren't good ways to lose weight, because they aren't sustainable. You can't do that for life. There will be birthday parties and celebrations and rainy days and personal tragedies and a million other reasons to skip a workout or eat "off plan" - that's called living your life, and the best you can do is not get worked up over it. Sometimes the guilt feels harder to lose than the physical pounds - so it's incredibly important to have faith in yourself and your ability to balance your "off" days.

4. Keep your body guessing.
It's good to have daily calorie intake and exercise calorie output goals, but it's also good to mix it up sometimes. Vary your meals as well as your workouts - going too heavy on either carbs or cardio will be just as bad as not getting enough of either. If you do not know your basal metabolic rate (BMR), here is a link to a great post by Half of Jess that explains really clearly how many calories you should eat every day. For example, I am 5'6", 24 years old, and 232 pounds, so my BMR is 1854. Since being even just lightly active burns calories, you use your BMR to calculate your total daily energy expenditure (TDEE) and find out how many calories you should consume daily in order to maintain your weight. As a moderately active person, my TDEE is 2874. That's a lot of calories! I don't set a very strict limit for caloric intake, but since cutting 3500 calories should net a one pound loss, I try to stay between 1200 and 1400 calories a day to lose between 2 and 3 pounds a week. But of course, some days I'm hungrier than others, and so I eat a little more - again, that's me sustaining my life.

5. Work out your mind as well as your body.
There are innumerable positives about choosing to get healthy and lose weight, but one dark and often hidden truth is that it isn't a smooth and straight line from A to B. Something that tends to get overlooked with weight loss is the emotional change that occurs as your body physically changes. Even if you haven't been overweight or obese for very long, the transition to a healthy life and a smaller body is one that takes some getting used to. Don't wait until the last pound is lost to start your emotional weight loss. The road gets bumpy, and this is where your support system can be incredibly helpful - talk to them! Even if you write a blog, it may be helpful to also keep a paper journal for recording your thoughts and emotions. You may also consider a counselor or therapist to help with sorting out your feelings about the new you.

6. Don't see slip ups as complete failures.
Psst! Another non-secret: you're human. If one bad decision turns into two, three, or even ten, remember that it's never too late to turn it around. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and keep going. This is a journey - we don't turn around and head home because we got lost. Stop and take a deep breath, assess the situation, and ask for directions if you need them. And just keep going.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Blogs I Love

I just added a new tab - Blogs I Love.  Check out many of the blogs I read on a regular basis.  They are awesome, inspirational and honest (I love me some honesty).  You won't regret it!!

Just click on the "Blogs I Love" tab above!

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Focus and support

I'm finding it amazing that I am learning about myself every day. I had a few rough patches today but am really proud to report that I stuck to my goal of not touching any of my weekly allotted Weight Watchers points.

So far the most important thing I have learned is that pre-planning is key for me. "real life" sometimes the unexpected comes up and we must have the mental tools to be able to deal with that. Today could have been a really bad spiral, but with the help of my #7daychip friends, I caught sight of my focus and stepped away from the ledge.

For many months of trying and failing I was searching for the "perfect" support group. My sister and I tried losing weight together (despite being 750 miles apart) but eventually that fizzled out because we were just too nice to each other and, well, my family has a way of enabling each other. I'm not complaining in the least....she is a wonderful person with a very big heart who just doesn't want to hurt my feelings.

I reached out to many of the groups on the site Cafemom. I was looking for tough love, basically, and got a lot of nothing out of that. Again, nice people, but just not what I was looking for in terms of support.

Then, out of frustration and desperation, I started this blog as a way to release my feelings rather than eating them, and I started following other similar blogs. I've got to say the support I have gained from the blogging community has been TREMENDOUS. It's people in the same boat as me encouraging the hell out of one another in a positive way. And then when I found the completely awesome motivational #7daychip group on Twitter it was PRECISELY what I'd been looking for. Today during my rough spot, I tweeted about what I was experiencing and within SECONDS people were answering me back and talking me down. I was overcome with emotion and gratitude. It was just phenomenal.

Friday, February 25, 2011


You know, I'm so glad I didn't let last weekend's binge totally derail me. There was a time in the not-so-distant past where I would have had the binge, threw up my hands and said, "I quit." (I'm pretty good at quitting). But I really WANT this. This is the first thing in a long time I'm doing for ME and not for someone else.

I love taking care of my family. It's one of the things I am proud of doing well, being a good wife and mother. I learned from my parents' mistakes and have tried very hard not to repeat them. But I often get lost in the shuffle (NOT complaining, just stating here). Once I got over the initial fighting myself, I have really taken some pride in myself. I celebrate my victories and acknowledge my struggles (but then move on).

Last night my wonderful mother-in-law wanted to take our family out to dinner. Guess what? I DIDN'T PANIC. My daughter picked a local Italian restaurant. Ok, then I admit it. I panicked a little. My favorite food on the entire planet is pasta alfredo and garlic bread. But I knew realistically that I would NOT be able to stop myself from eating the entire portion. So, instead I ordered pasta with meat sauce, a salad and the garlic bread. At this restaurant you can order a "full" order or a "half" order. The "half" order is about a normal serving and a half. They also serve you two large pieces of garlic bread and a side salad. I ordered the salad with FF Italian dressing, and the half order of pasta.......AND I ONLY ATE HALF of my pasta, and put the rest in a box immediately. And I only ate one of the pieces of garlic bread. And when dessert time rolled around, I knew I had made smart choices with dinner and had mentally tallied my Weight Watchers points for the day (I went light at lunch and breakfast because I knew we were going out). And so, I had a cannoli for dessert. And I still had a few Weight Watchers points left at the end of the day.

I seriously wanted to cry at the end of the night because I was so damn proud of myself. I can't remember if I've ever done this before. I have intended to order the half portion and talk half of that home but I have never been able to get past the menu and instead have always ordered the full portion (which is realistically 2 1/2 normal servings) of the cheese tortellini alfredo. This is a victory!

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Progress Pictures

I find it difficult to look at pictures of myself. And as anyone who is losing weight knows, it's sometimes excruciating sharing pictures of yourself with the world.

But I've done just that. I thought it was time to get even more real with myself and actually document what I look like on the outside instead of what's in my head.

The photos I've started with are a little older, but I will be updating every 20 lbs lost or so, I'm not sure.

Thanks for sticking with me, everyone - and for being so supportive!!

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

30 Days of Pictures - Day 28

Day 28: "A picture of something you're afraid of."

I've always been sort of wishy-washy. Although I don't remember being told "you'll never be able to do that" as a child, I still (very often) think that of myself when I embark on a new challenge.

On the outside I appear tough, but I'm really not. I'm good in a crisis, I suppose, but underneath it all is still a little kid who thinks she can't really do anything on her own.

I second guess myself when I'm driving, talking to strangers (one of my major anxieties), trying to figure something out, sometimes when I'm parenting, and to a degree now that I'm on this fitness journey (I have always hated the word "diet." I mean for God's sake, it's got the word "die" in it).

If I feel full after a mean, my brain starts to kick in and say, "You've done it now. That was too much, the rest of the day will be ruined!" If I account for a piece of candy and then eat it, my brain says, "Candy, huh? Have another one. And another. And another."

However, I'm very pleased to say that more often than not, I tell my brain to shut the hell up. I know in my heart I can do this. There will be days that will be easier than others, but by and large, for the most part, if I stick to my plan, I'm good to go.

Yes, I'm afraid to fail at this. But sometimes a little fear is just what I need to give me a swift kick in my ample rear and get it going. I've made this journey as public as I can. I know I have people watching me. Believe me, that was completely HORRIFYING, to go this public. But now that I know I'm not alone and there are plenty of people out there JUST LIKE ME, willing to help me along, it's not all that scary anymore. It's like weight loss took it's scary mask off and joined the damn party already.

Still to come:

29. A picture that can always make you smile
30. A picture of someone you miss

Being A Politician

I know several of you who have told me that you enjoy my blog and I am really grateful about that. When I started blogging it was really just a way for me to be honest with myself about my flaws, my insecurities and reasons why I'd become obese. The truth is, nearly 80 followers later, I really enjoy relating my experiences to all of you and interacting with you. My blog (and the blogs of many others) have become a source of support and inspiration for me. The weight loss blogging community is completely awesome!!

That being said, I'm asking you today to support me in the Women's Health Blogs We Love RoundUp. If I'm included, Women's Health will share my story with their readers and I'll be on their webpage. So if you think my blog should be shared with others, please consider nominating me (or any of the other blogs you love! I will be nominating several today!)


To nominate me, visit: Women's Health Magazine Blogs We Love Contest
The information they'll ask for:
Your name
Your email address
The URL of my blog -
Blog Genre: Weight Loss

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

GUEST POST: Katie & The Importance of a Support System

I really love the idea of having guest bloggers here from time to time. Surely you get tired of reading my drivel, right? Well today you're all in for a treat as my buddy Katie from the #7daychip group on Twitter is joining in the fun here and posting about something really important when you're trying to lose weight: having a good, solid support system.

Please head on over to her blog and soak up some of her past posts. Since July of last year she has lost FIFTY pounds! That is an amazing accomplishment and her support system has been a vital component of her success! Thanks for sharing your insight, Katie!


The Importance of A Support System

I am frequently asked the question I'm sure most successful dieters have heard at least a time or two, “How did you do it?” To answer that question completely I’d need several posts, but today I’ll touch on one of the fundamental needs of any dieter: a support system.

Ever heard the expression no man is an island? Well, it’s true! We are a social people, and we thrive on interaction with others. It feeds our soul on a primitive level. I can’t think of a more important time than when trying to lose weight to be in touch with others! Having a support system in place provides us with accountability and encouragement: the sustenance of any successful dieter. Our supporters cheer us on as we succeed and offer comfort and advise to pick us up when we stumble.

I am tremendously blessed to have a large and faithful support system. My husband is my biggest cheerleader, and just hearing him say he’s proud of how far I’ve come motivates me to keep going through the struggles. My blog has introduced me to another huge group of supporters. The comments and emails I receive warm my heart and help make all the difference to me on this journey. I also love the #7daychip group on twitter. They have really helped me work to get back on track after an extended holiday break, and I love that we all work together toward keeping our eating in check.

Many of my friends who were originally sideline supporters have jumped in the ring to go a few rounds. Just this month I’ve heard the progress three of them have made, and I love that we can all get healthy together. Having that support really does make all the difference. When times start to get tough I’ll reach out to my friends, tweet my struggles, or talk to my husband. On several occasions I’ve called him at work to talk me out of doing something stupid like binging or skipping the gym on an important workout day. He gives me a pep talk and I’m ready to rumble!

I think the most important characteristics of a support group are compassion and honesty. They work together to create the best support possible for achieving your goals. You want to surround yourself with people who care enough about you to tell you the cold hard truth that we don’t always want to here, but are capable of being sensitive when that’s what you need. It’s important to have both aspects because we need encouragement AND accountability on this journey in order to be successful.

One of my biggest pieces of advice to anyone trying to lose weight is to build a strong support system. If you don’t have one, find one. Make new friends who will support you, start a blog, or join a community group of people with the similar goals. Heck, take out a personal ad if you have to, just do it! Whatever you do just make sure you find that support, because without it you’re in for a very long and lonely ride. And if all else fails (or even if you just want more) come on over to my blog at or email me, I love to be supportive and cheer others on! Nothing makes me happier than people achieving their goals!


How to reach Katie:

Her blog: Finding The Thin Within

Her Facebook page: Finding The Thin Within on FB

Email her:

To learn more about the #7daychip group on Twitter: Brad Gansberg's #7daychip Program

Monday, February 21, 2011

Do you have fat days?

When I feel strong and confident I feel MUCH thinner. Despite the fact that I've only just lost 14ish pounds so far, there have been days when my eating has been spot-on, my workouts have been strong, and I've been doing everything in my power to achieve my goals. On those days I feel much thinner than I really am....and I feel.....are you ready for this? Beautiful.

I am beginning to realize that feeling beautiful doesn't have a hell of a lot to do with how your hair decided to behave today, or if your socks match your shirt, or even if you put makeup on that day or not (I admit to forgetting to wear make up more often than I remember to).

In the past two months, feeling beautiful comes from confidence and pride in the effort I've put into myself. It carries over to other aspects of my life. I've gotten my life organized. I've gotten my home clean from top to bottom (almost) and organized. Hell, I even cleaned out the Swagger Wagon which had a whole winter's worth of crap in it. And (are you ready for this one?) I've shaved my legs ON A REGULAR BASIS for the past month or so, much to the delight of my wonderful husband, I'm sure. Losing just a few pounds has put the spark back in my self worth. And I know that I can do even more!

Conversely, on days when I lose control, or when I don't put in my best effort (and deep down we all know when those days are) I feel disgusting. Fat, ugly, unmotivated and disheveled (an aside - I love that word "disheveled). Those are the days that my lazy side says, "Isn't this better? This is so much more fun to eat whatever and however much you want. No more getting up at 5am to workout! Sleep in! Eat! View life from your recliner!"


I kind of like feeling pretty. I kind of like having that spring in my step. I know my family has noticed (my husband even remarked about it a few days ago). And the great thing is I know how to keep it: Keep doing the hard work that makes all this worth it!

Have a great day, everyone! I'm thankful for each and every one of you!


So remember how I told you I was out of control on Saturday? I weighed in with a gain of 0.4 this morning. It could have been much worse, but I recognize that I get (on the scale) what I give (in effort).


Today is a new day. Yesterday was rocky but I made it through in control. Today will be better. I will re-build my momentum and I will lose what I gained AND MORE.

Let's rock the crap out of this week!

Sunday, February 20, 2011

I love Facebook - come see me there!

Come see me on Facebook. It would be great if you did! Click the link below and like me!

Goodbye, Fat Girl on Facebook


I've been talking lately about my quest for the #7daychip and the #30daychip with the great group of people supporting each other on Twitter (To learn more, go here: Brad Gansberg's 7 Day Chip Group) Basically you set the parameters for the goal you want to achieve with your eating. If you achieve that goal for 7 straight days, you earn a 7 Day Chip. You then keep going until eventually you earn your 30 Day Chip. My goal was not to binge and keep in control of my eating.

Yesterday, I lost the quest. I was on Day 14.

I felt weepy, angry, and so disappointed in myself. I had made it so far, almost half way to the 30 Day Chip. I had been feeling so strong, so indestructible. And then I failed.

The day started off with a good breakfast. Then I took my oldest daughter to the movies and we shared some M&M's. I believe this was the trigger. I had not planned for them and I did not really control my portion. But I figured I would account for them on my online tracker when I got home. Then the whole family went to lunch at Steak & Shake. I don't know if you're all familiar with this restaurant, but they serve GIGANTIC milkshakes that are, quite simply put, Freaking Incredible. But......I DID NOT ORDER ONE. I ate my meal and enjoyed lunch out with my family. Lunch was actually a victory.

Then dinner making happened. And it was all downhill from there. I ate constantly while making dinner. Then I ate dinner, a much-too-big portion and then I ate seconds. And then I ate while I cleaned up. And then I ate some candy. Etc, Etc, Etc. I felt so weak. I felt so defeated. I felt so angry with myself. I felt the way I always used to feel before starting this quest. And so I tweeted about it, and sent my friend Beth a text about it.

And instead of people telling me, "Colleen you're an idiot and why did you destroy all the good work you've done," (As I expected them.....even wanted them to say, just to validate my feelings about myself) they all said - "You made it 13 whole days. Be proud of that and move on to the next 13 and beyond. You've had a victory and need to get back at having another."


Before I started in with this 7 Day / 30 Day Chip group, I would stay within my Weight Watchers points range every day, but my eating would not be controlled. I would binge, buy count my points. I didn't feel this was productive. I knew I needed to be in control. And for ME to go 13 days without a binge is a great victory. I'm not saying the binge yesterday was ok. It wasn't. But I've learned from it. And my next goal is not to go three thousand days without a binge. My next goal is to go at least 14 days without a binge and then beyond.

I've proven to myself I can do it. Now I have to do it again.

And I promise myself:

No more M&Ms (I don't even really like them!)
I will seek the help of my support network in times of crisis
I will love myself, despite my flaws and I will work very hard to change them

So, yeah - I fell off the wagon. But I have not failed.

I will not fail. Not this time.

Friday, February 18, 2011

30 Days of Pictures - Day 27

Day 27 - "A picture of yourself and a family member"

This one's a picture of me and my two babies. Taken last summer at the Gateway Arch in St. Louis, MO.

I guess they're not babies anymore, are they? Lilly is my oldest. She is 6 and has her own ideas about the world, which I think is fantastic. She loves to run, dance, and cheerlead (much to my surprise). Having always been the "tomboyish" type, I'm pretty clueless as to anything fashion related and have never quite "gotten" cheerleading. But she LOVES it and to see her blossom before my eyes with this sort of stuff is utterly breathtaking. I tell her often that she is so very special to me because she is the person who made me a mommy, and for that I will be forever greatful to her. She is an amazing person and an incredible artist. She has an eye for beauty.

Lenna is 2 1/2 going on about 25. She is a perfect combination of independent while still needing her mommy. She is very headstrong (I have *no* idea where she gets that from - ha!) but so sweet and gentle (when she wants to be). She idolizes her big sister and they are becoming great friends. She loves monkeys and anything purple. Purple monkeys make her head spin, she loves them so much. She reminds me constantly that she loves me just for being me, not for what I look like. She is so special to me because she completed our family, and she made Lilly a big sister - a role that she has taken on full-tilt.

And so these are my girls. I speak of them often on my blog and I thought you all might like to get to know them a little better. They, with their daddy, are the lights of my life - the bright spots when sometimes all I can see is darkness.

Still to come:

28. A picture of something your afraid of
29. A picture that can always make you smile
30. A picture of someone you miss

Thursday, February 17, 2011

It's OK!!

When I'm in binging mode, I feel constantly full, but not fulfilled. There seems to be an emptiness that I have to fill but can't. The concept of stopping doesn't often occur to me and it's like a mission to feel "full." It starts to become a normal feeling that I have to have all the time.

But I am learning, slowly, that it's ok to not feel full all the time. That feeling of being stuffed isn't healthy OR comforting. It's ok to feel a little hungry at times (but the feeling of completely starving, for me, is not ok - it's likely to lead to a binge). It's all a very fine balance, for me anyway. I'm currently on Day 11 of earning my #30daychip with my buddies on Twitter. For me that means that I've gone the past 10 days with controlled eating and no binges. I have to pre-plan my days and stick to the plan. That sometimes means that I feel mildly hungry between meals or snacks, but that "hunger" is often squashed with a glass of water.

Did you hear that? A. GLASS. OF. WATER. That's amazing for me. In the not-so-distant past if I felt hungry in the slightest bit, I would search and search and search (often coming up with some very bizarre but delicious combination) until I was stuffed. I'm not proud of that but seriously it is part of who I am. NOT binging or being out of control with my eating is a lot of hard work. You'd think that I could just tell myself to stop and do it. That just doesn't work for me. I have to constantly keep at it.

But the effort is SO worth it!!

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

30 Days of Pictures - Day 26

Day 26 - "A picture of something that means a lot to you."

This is going to sound cliche, and I know that. But I have really grown to enjoy my time at the gym. It's my "ME" time. It's the time that I get where I'm not in charge of making sure anyone's nose is wiped or anyone's diaper is changed or if anyone needs a refill on their milk. I can zone out or listen to my music or whatever I want to do. It's become fun to challenge myself on whatever machine I'm using. I've been trying the past few weeks to get a 10 minute mile on the elliptical. I'm not quite there yet but I'm getting there. I have really started liking my strength training on the weight machines as well.

It's well documented that I've tried to lose weight before. And I know I'm only 14ish pounds into this journey, but this time FEELS so

Still to come....because I know you're on the edge of your seat with anticipation:

27. A picture of yourself and a family member
28. A picture of something your afraid of
29. A picture that can always make you smile
30. A picture of someone you miss

Monday, February 14, 2011

Just too much

I had a fantastic Valentine's Day. I got to spend it with my favorite people and can't complain about that. And then to top it all off, my husband just reminded me that he has tomorrow off too (he always has Mondays off)!! So it's like I got ANOTHER Valentine's Day present!!

We planned to have a treat tonight, so I pre planned my meals for the day to accommodate. The amount of ice cream / cake I ate tonight doesn't in any way exceed what used to be "normal" for me. But....I noticed toward the end of eating it, I started to feel......gross.

Don't get me wrong, it was delicious. It was decadent. It was so effing tasty that my brain said, "YOU WANT MORE!" But for serious.....I didn't want more. Truthfully I should have offered the rest to my husband when I got about 3/4 of the way through it.

What I learned, though is this - I can be satisfied on far far less than my brain thinks I can. My brain still goes into "there may be no food later! Eat it now! Eat it all now!" mode. If I'm being honest with myself, I could have been satisfied on HALF of what I ate tonight.

Lesson: Start with less than you want and maybe you'll be satisfied before you realize.

Happy Valentine's Day To Someone I Love!

I have never been my biggest supporter. I've often made sure to tell myself not to even try something because I would surely fail. I have "tried" (I use that term loosely) many times before to lose weight. I think one ingredient missing all those other times was love.

I'd lose 3 pounds, gain 2. Lose 2 pounds, gain three. And the cycle would go on and on and on. And I'd tell myself, "Why are you even trying?" I just KNEW that I'd fail.


Do you know why? Because I'm starting to actually love myself. When I can show myself how much control I can have, how strong I can be, and how I dedicated I can be, I start to love myself instead of hate myself. All those little non-scale victories (like eating lunch out and being in control, like running into the supermarket for milk and NOT grabbing a candy bar on the way out, like NOT eating more bites of leftover dinner as I put it away, like NOT eating bites off my kids plates) are adding up to a big time increase in my confidence.

And I really and truly love that.

Happy Valentine's Day everyone! Love your family, love your friends, but most of all, love yourself!!

Sunday, February 13, 2011

I did it! I earned my first #7daychip !

I earned my first #7daychip! That means, no binging for the past 7 days - all controlled and planned eating. My goal this week was to not touch any of my weekly allotted Weight Watchers points, and I reached that goal. It feels fantastic to be able to say all that. I felt strong all week, and it was wonderful that so many of us earned our chip today.

Being in control is a completely foreign concept to me when it comes to eating. I love the support and encouragement I've been getting around the web. It's just so amazingly fantastic. Been having lots of fun checking in with and getting encouragement from / helping to encourage my buddy Katie who writes Finding The Thin Within. I think she's fabulous and I can't wait to say we've both earned our #30daychip !!

To learn more about Brad Gansberg's 7 Day Chip club, visit him at: Learn More About The 7 Day Chip!

30 Days of Pictures - Day 25

Day 25 - "A picture of your day."

I bet you guys thought I was totally blowing off the 30 Days series, didn't you? Nope, not so. Here's the latest installment:

Sundays are rest days for us. We like to play some games, hang with the kiddos, etc. Today, Aron and I played one of our favorite new board games, Defenders of The Realm. It's a cooperative game (meaning the players play "against" the game for a common goal). We've only won once before. But today..... WE WON. I know it sounds geeky, and maybe it is. But we had SO much fun playing this game, and it really felt like we had done something when we won it. It was an amazingly wonderful time.

This evening we watched a movie together as a family, which was also wonderful. I can't get enough of weekends...I love spending time with these people!!

Still to come....because I know you're on the edge of your seat with anticipation:

26. A picture of something that means a lot to you
27. A picture of yourself and a family member
28. A picture of something your afraid of
29. A picture that can always make you smile
30. A picture of someone you miss

How I Handled Un-Plannedness

Yesterday my family and I traveled north a little so my husband could attend a meeting. While he was in his meeting, the girls and I did a bit of shopping. My 6 year old is at the stage where she wants to wear the same type of thing (leggings) every day....and mommy's not willing to do laundry every 2nd day. Also, both girls needed tennis shoes, so we were looking for those as well.

Shopping was a success! However, I realized later that I unlike I usually do (buy something for every other member of my family but myself), I actually bought something for myself! It was a nice feeling... I now have the perfect hand cream to use after washing dishes (thank you, Bath & Body Works). I also eyed the swimming suits when we walked by them and said to myself, "This will be the first year IN MY ENTIRE LIFE, that I will go swim suit shopping." I can't wait!! I will be nowhere near my goal when it comes time for our vacation in August, but I'll be down quite a lot and it will be nice to actually shop for a swim suit rather than just pick over what they have in the giant sizes.

Anyway, after my husband was done with his meeting it was past noon. We decided we should go out and eat since it was an hour long ride back home. So we did. I admit I was a little panicky at first, thinking I'd go back to my old behavior and just order whatever "sounded" good. But I didn't!

We ate at Ruby Tuesday's. The one close to us has a fantastic salad bar and I decided on the soup and salad combo. I had a HUGE salad, a bowl of chicken tortilla soup with tortilla chips, and for dessert? A big plate of grapes that I shared with the girls.

That was a big success in my book!!

I felt so empowered after we left the restaurant!

Thursday, February 10, 2011


So I thought I'd check in. It's been a bit since a "real" post. I have been very busy with my youngest daughter (who is mostly better but still sinus-y), a HUGE shipment going out for our internet store, as well as being sinus-y myself.

I have been making good on my goal not to touch any of my weekly "emergency" WW points. Normally by this time in the week I'd have them half gone. The reason I haven't touched them, I believe, is because I'm paying attention to NOT using them, i.e. I'm planning much more. Traditionally, when I use those extra points, it's because it's well after my girls' bedtime and my husband and I are searching for something to shut our collective sweet tooth up. That usually ends with homemade milkshakes. But, as I had planned to not use those extra points, I didn't buy any ice cream. There are still treats in the house but instead of indulging in them, I have been planning my "treats." The past several nights for my treat I've had a Fiber One bar (either Oats & Chocolate or Mocha - YUM!) and a cup of coffee. SO GOOD, and certainly better for me than a milkshake. And guess what? I feel totally fulfilled. So there, milkshakes. Take that!

It seems I learn something new about myself each week. Planning ahead, for now, has to be my key to success. I had planned at least 3 gym workouts this week. So far I've only made it to one due to the sick kid and my own head full of snot. I do plan on going in the morning and perhaps sneaking away to the gym this weekend. I'm OK with all of that.

I'm still learning. And I'm still INTERSETED in learning. So that's got to be something, right?

I hope you're all well. I'll get to my next "30 days of photos" post in the next few days.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

New Blog!

I don't often cross-reference my business life and my personal life on this blog, but I'm really excited to have started a new blog for me and my husband's internet business, Fun Beyond Driven. We sell all kinds of movie / music collectibles from bobble heads to awesome plush toys to vinyl figures.

PLEASE check out our blog, which we just started. Follow us and spread the word, if you're so inclined! You can do so by clicking here: Fun Beyond Driven Chatter (Blog)

Please and thank you.

And now, back to you're regularly scheduled Goodbye, Fat Girl!

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

30 Days of Pictures - Day 24

Day 24 - "A picture of something you wish you could change."

This is another post where, as far as a picture goes, I've got nothing. I've been thinking about this one for weeks. And things like "my inability to make small talk with strangers," "my relationship with my mother," "so-and-so's attitude," and things of the like came to me. But then I really THOUGHT. Seriously. I'm a big proponent of, "If you don't like something about your life, quit whining about it and CHANGE it." And all of those things I listed can either be changed by me, or ignored by me (another person's attitude), which really is change when you think about it because then I'm not letting someone else's attitude AFFECT ME.

I'm finally in a position where I really and truly believe that I'm in control. My weight is not in control of me. My "situations" are not in control of me. The only way I'll get over my fear of making small talk with strangers (I know, it sounds silly, doesn't it?) is to DO IT. The only way my relationship with my mother will get better is if I WORK AT IT. If she doesn't put the same effort into it, then at least I'll know I've done what I can....or my other option is to throw in the towel and move on. Either way, I'm in control of what happens. As far as changing the attitude of others, I can chose to NOT have them in my life.

So, today, I say that change is all relative. Excuses are what come out of my mouth after the words "I CAN'T." I'm not going to be an "I can't" anymore. As the band Rage Against The Machine told me to do years ago, I'm going to TAKE THE POWER BACK!

Enjoy your Tuesday everyone!

Still to come....because I know you're on the edge of your seat with anticipation:

25. A picture of your day
26. A picture of something that means a lot to you
27. A picture of yourself and a family member
28. A picture of something your afraid of
29. A picture that can always make you smile
30. A picture of someone you miss

Monday, February 7, 2011


I've been absent today - absent from writing and absent from reading all my favorite blogs. I've been nursing a sick daughter back to health....well, we're almost there, anyway. It was a long night last night and I've been pretty much "unplugged" most of the day.

I will catch up with all of you tomorrow, though, I promise.

News on the weight loss front, though - I weighed in this morning with a loss of 2.4 pounds, which makes my loss a total of 11.4 - I am feeling very good about pushing past that 10 pounds lost mark.

I don't know how many of you have read my incentives chart over there on the left hand column somewhere, but my first incentive for 10 pounds lost was fresh flowers on for the kitchen table....which I reached in NOVEMBER. I'm not going to re-reward myself (totally just made that word up), but rather I'm looking ahead to the next goal I'll achieve - which is another 10 pounds (well, technically another 8.6 pounds, but who's counting? ME! I'm counting!) for a total of 20 pounds lost. I'm not sure what magazine I'll subscribe to, though. Perhaps the Weight Watchers magazine. I enjoyed it the last time I got it - maybe I should subscribe to it as my reward.

I hope you are all well and happy. How was your Monday? Mine was FABULOUS (other than the sick child thing). Eating-wise, I couldn't be more pleased with my efforts. Exercise - well, I stayed home this morning with Len - I felt she needed me more than I needed to go to the gym. Going to make up for it tomorrow, though.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

30 Days of Pictures - Day 23

Day 23 - "A picture of your favorite book"

This is kind of tough for me. I really enjoy reading, but with 2 kids, a home to take care of, and essentially 2 full time jobs, it's hard to find the time. The last book I completed, though, was AWESOME. It was "Under The Dome" by Stephen King and it was well over 1000 pages. I read it (mostly) before bed each night. I really love the way King develops characters and brings them to life. Character-driven stories are what I like the most, and I tend to like "modern" books more than the classics. Although, truthfully, I should give some of the classics another go as I tried to read them in my early 20s. I have grown to understand that over time, my tastes have changed quite a lot!

When I first moved to the midwest to be with my (now) husband, who is an avid Stephen King fan, "Well, I liked Misery ok, but I'm not really a huge Stephen King fan." And so, he set out to prove me wrong about that and had me read Desperation. My take on Stephen King changed after that.

Aron and I like to read books "together" - he'll read a copy and I'll read a different copy at the same time and we discuss it while we're reading it. It's great fun and always makes me enjoy a book even more.

The book I'm r
eading currently is I Am Ozzy - the autobiography of Ozzy Osbourne. Aron picked it up from the library and read it in a few days and recommended that I read it as well. I'm SO glad that I am. It's wildly entertaining and touching at the same time. I am really enjoying it - and I'm almost done with it.

I like to think that we're fostering a love of reading and books in our children. We read bedtime stories each night to them. Len, who is 2 currently prefers a good "I Spy" book. Lil, who is 6, has been CRAZY for the Junie B. Jones books, so we've been reading a few chapters of Junie each night too.

Still to come....because I know you're on the edge of your seat with anticipation:

23. A picture of your favorite book
24. A picture of something you wish you could change
25. A picture of your day
26. A picture of something that means a lot to you
27. A picture of yourself and a family member
28. A picture of something your afraid of
29. A picture that can always make you smile
30. A picture of someone you miss

This is the first hurdle

Traditionally when I try and lose weight, this is the spot where I fall flat on my face and refuse to get up. Right around the 10 pounds lost mark. It's not quite enough lost to make a huge impact and the daily grind of "always thinking food" gets to me.

I'll confess that most of my weekly "emergency points" are gone. On the Weight Watchers plan, you get to eat a certain number of "points" each day - and the points are calculated for each food based on 4 nutritional values - fat content, carbohydrates, protein, and fiber content in the food. In addition to your daily points allotment, you get a certain number of "Weekly Points" to use as you need them. Also - you can earn "activity points" based on the amount / difficulty of activity (the dreaded "exercise" word) that you complete in a given day.

I NEVER eat the activity points I earn. But each week I set out to try and not touch my Weekly Points. and each week I've failed.

I don't weigh in again until tomorrow morning and I'm not quite sure what the scale will tell me. On one hand, I have tracked everything I've eaten. I've stayed away from binging. I haven't worked out as much as I'd planned to (only twice this week). So whatever number I get staring back at me tomorrow will be an honest representation of what I should get.

And, as you know, today is the Superbowl here in the United States. Now honestly, I could care less about the football game. I'd rather be watching hockey. But it's sort of a tradition in our house to have a "snacky supper" while we watch the game. We've got some not-so-healthy snacks planned (jalapeno poppers and mozzarella sticks) and some healthy snacks planned (vegetable egg rolls, veggies/dip, and mexican bean dip. I have every confidence I can stay within my points range for today and earn that #7daychip I told you about yesterday.

I can push past this 10 pounds lost thing. I know I can. My brain sometimes tells me differently but who says I have to listen? Sometimes you have to lead with your heart instead of your head.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

30 Days of Pictures - Day 22

Day 22 - "A picture of something you wish you were better at."

I wish I were better at running. I mean, I could run if I had to - like if someone were chasing me. But to run for fitness? I don't think I'm quite there yet. Every time I try and give it a go, it feels like a nightmare and completely unnatural. I have too many jiggly bits still, I think.

I tried the C25K program. I made it to about Week 2, Day 2. Maybe I was running the wrong way, or maybe I was just too fat yet (probably both). But it got to the point that I HATED getting up in the morning to do my routine. I became even MORE of an expert at making excuses not to get up and run.

It seems like something I'd like, like something I could quickly sort of get into. But I'm going to wait to try it again until I've lost about another 25 pounds.

What do you wish you were better at?

Still to come....because I know you're on the edge of your seat with anticipation:

23. A picture of your favorite book
24. A picture of something you wish you could change
25. A picture of your day
26. A picture of something that means a lot to you
27. A picture of yourself and a family member
28. A picture of something your afraid of
29. A picture that can always make you smile
30. A picture of someone you miss

Friday, February 4, 2011


On January 18th I thanked all of you guys who read my blog because I'd reached 40 followers. Holy crap - only 17 days later I've added another 20 followers. That makes me feel good to know that there are other souls out there who (possibly) like what I'm writing and maybe are taking something away from it.

I really do view this blogworld as a community, without whom, I'd have a whole lot less support on this journey.

Thank you for taking time out of your busy days to read my ramblings!

Love and hugs to all of you!!

30 Days of Pictures - Day 21

Day 21 - "A picture of something you wish you could forget."

I know this is called "30 Days of Pictures" but the one thing in my life that I wish I could forget is something I don't have a picture of. So, I guess you'll just have to bear with me.

On September 2, 2001, I watched and listened to my father take his last breath. That sound has haunted me these past 9 years....not because I thought it was frightening but because in one instant it represented two very important roads in my life: The end of my father's life and the beginning of my life without him.

He lived a long time, did my father. He was 77 years old when he died, and not in the best of health. But even still. Even though we KNEW he was going to pass, the shock of hearing him take his last breath almost broke me. I felt a panic deep inside me like I've never felt before. In that instant I hoped he knew how much I adored him, how much I would miss him, and how I would think of him every day after that.

On the two happiest days of my life - when my daughters were born, I mourned my father as well because I knew my girls would never know him - that he would just be an idea to them, a mystery called "Grandpa Lou."

Today, over 9 years later, I still hear that breath. I can remember that sound with more clarity than his voice. But I celebrate him and his life, too. I'm less sad about his death now, and more thankful that I got so many good years with him. He truly was an outstanding man who would have spoiled my daughters rotten (which would have been lovely to see).

Still to come....because I know you're on the edge of your seat with anticipation:

22. A picture of something you wish you were better at
23. A picture of your favorite book
24. A picture of something you wish you could change
25. A picture of your day
26. A picture of something that means a lot to you
27. A picture of yourself and a family member
28. A picture of something your afraid of
29. A picture that can always make you smile
30. A picture of someone you miss

Thursday, February 3, 2011

30 Days of Pictures - Day 20

Day 20 - "A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel."

When my husband and I were first starting to talk seriously about marriage, we wanted to honeymoon in Ireland. We thought it would be just perfect (and it would have been) but little did our daydreaming minds know how much it costs to travel that far. So we said we'd "do it later."

Then 6 years later it hadn't happened and our first daughter came along. Traveling to Ireland is kind of out of the plans (it was for us anyway) when you have a baby. Then 4 years later, another daughter. You see the trend here? We we've never gotten to Ireland, but that doesn't mean we've given up.

We took a nice family cruise in 2009 and we'll be taking another one this year. Next year we're thinking of the possibility of Disney as our vacation (we'll have a a 4 year old and 8 year old girl - perfect ages for them to BOTH enjoy Disney without one being too old for it and one being too young for it.). In the foreseeable, future, though - we really are planning a trip to Europe, but for all 4 of us. We just can't fathom the thought of leaving our kids for a week or 2 so we can vacation. It's just not who we are. We'd rather enjoy the experience with our children. These vacations are such a fantastic learning opportunity for both of them!!

So look out, Ireland - At some point in the next 6 years we'll be seeing you!!

Still to come....because I know you're on the edge of your seat with anticipation:

21. A picture of something you wish you could forget
22. A picture of something you wish you were better at
23. A picture of your favorite book
24. A picture of something you wish you could change
25. A picture of your day
26. A picture of something that means a lot to you
27. A picture of yourself and a family member
28. A picture of something your afraid of
29. A picture that can always make you smile
30. A picture of someone you miss

I am going to earn my #7daychip !

I'll bet you're wondering what the heck is a #7daychip. Well, it's really a 7 Day Chip, but in the Twitter universe (which I'm becoming more and more familiar with), it's a group started by @BradGansberg (who writes the blog Brad Gansberg's Thoughts On:)

What you do is commit to controlled eating for 7 days. When you've done that, you let Brad know and you're acknowledged on his blog for earning your 7 Day Chip. It sounds simple, and it is, really. But the support you get from the group is INCREDIBLE. When you tweet about how your week is going while trying to earn your 7 Day Chip, all you do is add the designation #7daychip at the end of your tweet. That's it. Then you can click on that designation to see all tweets related to the group. It's a great way to help and be helped along this path.

If you stumble and have a uncontrolled eating day, you start over in earning your 7 Day Chip. You can earn several of these. When you're ready, you can even earn one (or hopefully many many more) #30daychip s. It's all very exciting and incredibly helpful.

Join us on Twitter. Follow me (@AdiosFatGirl) and follow the discussion. I think you'll be glad you did.

To view Brad's explination of the group, go here: What is a #7daychip?

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

30 Days of Pictures - Day 19

Day 19 "A picture of you when you were little"

Technically, I've never been really "little" since I was an infant. You can see the chunk starting to form around my waist in this picture. I'm estimating this picture to be me at around 5 years old or so. God, I hated when my mother did my hair like that. That's my sister Karen's hand on my shoulder, by the way. And my brother's arm in front of me. Close-knit group, weren't we?

I don't remember a lot about my relationship with food at that age because honestly I don't remember a ton of things from my childhood. I remember some specific things. Some very funny things. But by and large, as a whole, it's pretty sketchy in my memory. My husband would tell you he's not surprised about that. My horrible memory is a long running joke with us.

Life is a lot simpler as a child, fitness-wise. Well depending on some variables, I guess. When you're a kid, you don't have a lot of say in what you get to eat. When you're little you can't just whip up a batch of cookies and eat the whole thing. You get what you get, I suppose. Which can be good or bad.

As far as exercise goes, kids don't view exercise as "work." They think of it as "fun." I know my daughters do, anyway. Running is FUN to them, not something to be dreaded or conditioned to do. I want that to last in them for the balance of their lives. I want them to LOVE being active, which is one of the reasons this is so important for me....this getting fit stuff, I mean.

If I can make sure they get exposed to nutritious alternatives in their diets, and continue to make activity fun, I think they'll be set up for a life free of having to constantly worry, "Are they all staring at my fat ass?"

Still to come....because I know you're on the edge of your seat with anticipation:

20. A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel
21. A picture of something you wish you could forget
22. A picture of something you wish you were better at
23. A picture of your favorite book
24. A picture of something you wish you could change
25. A picture of your day
26. A picture of something that means a lot to you
27. A picture of yourself and a family member
28. A picture of something your afraid of
29. A picture that can always make you smile
30. A picture of someone you miss

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

I won!

I am so excited that I won the blog re-design from April Showers! I can't even begin to thank all of you for voting for me! What a wonderful community we have here!

In other news, it's rumored we'll have ANOTHER snow/ice day tomorrow and I will most likely have no daycare children here tomorrow, so blogging is a top priority.

Question: I'm getting some guest bloggers lined up to spice things up and inspire the holy crap out of us. What kind of topics would you like to see covered?

Love to all of you!!!

Proof That Jack is Right

At some point in the past few weeks, I was reading a blog post by Jack at Jack Sh*t, Gettin' Fit. He said that when you step on the scale to weigh-in, you usually "get what you deserve." That is so true. I know that when I'm really honest with my efforts at weight loss, when I'm truly doing the things I need to do to lose this weight (and we all know how, don't we?), I see a loss when I weigh in. And it's not surprise.

But at times like yesterday when I weigh in and see a gain (of 0.4 pounds), that's not much of a surprise either. The entire month of January I was accountable (even if it wasn't pretty) and TRACKED EVERYTHING that I ate. This past weekend I had 2 days where I didn't track what I ate and I guess my mind said, "F it. You're not tracking so you can eat what you want. If you don't write it, you didn't bite it." Guess what, mind? You're horribly wrong.

And so my flippant attitude and laziness got me a small gain this week. However, rather than wallowing in self-pity (which, really, is the easiest thing to do), I'm making it my mission not to let that happen again. I'm tracking everything (even when it's not convenient to do so) and I'm HONESTLY making an effort to get all my water in.

That being said, I ended the month of January with a total loss of 9 pounds. I'll take it and use that as a motivator for February.
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