You know, I'm so glad I didn't let last weekend's binge totally derail me. There was a time in the not-so-distant past where I would have had the binge, threw up my hands and said, "I quit." (I'm pretty good at quitting). But I really WANT this. This is the first thing in a long time I'm doing for ME and not for someone else.
I love taking care of my family. It's one of the things I am proud of doing well, being a good wife and mother. I learned from my parents' mistakes and have tried very hard not to repeat them. But I often get lost in the shuffle (NOT complaining, just stating here). Once I got over the initial fighting myself, I have really taken some pride in myself. I celebrate my victories and acknowledge my struggles (but then move on).
Last night my wonderful mother-in-law wanted to take our family out to dinner. Guess what? I DIDN'T PANIC. My daughter picked a local Italian restaurant. Ok, then I admit it. I panicked a little. My favorite food on the entire planet is pasta alfredo and garlic bread. But I knew realistically that I would NOT be able to stop myself from eating the entire portion. So, instead I ordered pasta with meat sauce, a salad and the garlic bread. At this restaurant you can order a "full" order or a "half" order. The "half" order is about a normal serving and a half. They also serve you two large pieces of garlic bread and a side salad. I ordered the salad with FF Italian dressing, and the half order of pasta.......AND I ONLY ATE HALF of my pasta, and put the rest in a box immediately. And I only ate one of the pieces of garlic bread. And when dessert time rolled around, I knew I had made smart choices with dinner and had mentally tallied my Weight Watchers points for the day (I went light at lunch and breakfast because I knew we were going out). And so, I had a cannoli for dessert. And I still had a few Weight Watchers points left at the end of the day.
I seriously wanted to cry at the end of the night because I was so damn proud of myself. I can't remember if I've ever done this before. I have intended to order the half portion and talk half of that home but I have never been able to get past the menu and instead have always ordered the full portion (which is realistically 2 1/2 normal servings) of the cheese tortellini alfredo. This is a victory!