Yesterday something very profound happened to me. Long story short (kind of):
I volunteered in my daughter's Kindergarten class for a few hours yesterday morning. She asked me to come out and play on the playground before I left and I agreed. She has been trying to "master" the monkey bars for quite some time but has really had some fear of doing so...mostly because she's scared to fall (the sight of blood gives her a complete mental breakdown). So, she says, "Mom, can you help me across the monkey bars?" I said, as nicely as I could, "I'm just here to watch today. I know you can do this, I'll give you some pointers." So I proceeded to verbally explain to her what she had to do in order to accomplish her goal. Still, she was too scared, and we went on to something else.
After school, I picked her up and we all went to the park because it was such a nice day. My daughter headed straight for the monkey bars at the park. I was curious to see what she would do. I went over to her and again gave her the verbal cues she needed, all the while telling her, "I believe in you. I know you can do this." And do you know what? I watched through tears as I saw my first-born persevere through her perceived hardship until she ACCOMPLISHED HER GOAL. I can't express the amount of pride in her I had yesterday afternoon. Yes, in the grand scheme of things it was just the monkey bars. But to her it was an almost impossible task that she did ALL BY HERSELF.
It was like I had been hit with a ton of bricks. Isn't this extra hundred pounds I'm carrying around MY monkey bars? My 6 year old and I aren't so different - we're both scared to fail, but we're both learning that the benefits of facing your fears far outweigh (no pun intended) the comfort zone of not even trying.
For the record, she went across the monkey bars so much, she gave herself blisters, which she proudly showed to anyone who would listen to her tale.
And so, I'm going to do my best to share my food journal here daily. Today is the first day in a long time I can really say I was pleased with my ENTIRE day, fitness-wise. I know I need to get my nutrition down, but I didn't overeat today and that is a huge battle for me.
Breakfast: String cheese, 1/2 slice of bread, water
Snack: celery sticks, water, handful of goldfish crackers
Lunch: 1/2 slice of frozen cheese pizza, 1/2 head of lettuce made into a salad w/ 2T dressing, water
Snack: 1 small chewy granola bar, water
Dinner: 2 bowls homemade vegetable soup w/ crackers. (Yes, that's TWO bowls....but the soup was made in the crock pot and contained only vegetables and the 1T of olive oil I used to saute the onion and celery. It was incredible!
Dessert: med. banana
I don't feel deprived. I kept busy all day which is key for me.
Not sure how many of you made it all the way to the end of this post, but if you did, I sincerely thank you!