wishy washy

I've been too damn wishy washy. Sometimes I feel a little bi-polar when it comes to this whole weight loss thing. "I'M COMPLETELY COMMITTED, I'M GOING TO DO THIS! YEAH!" And then two days later, "I suck at this, I'm going to be fat forever."

And that's probably true if I don't do something about it. It's so much easier to go to the stupid Halloween candy bowl (and tastier) than getting a healthy snack, or (gasp!) not snacking at all. I am so in love with the idea that fit people have that "food is fuel." They're totally right but why the hell does it have to be so yummy? I know I've got "food issues" going way back. Someday I'm sure I'll uncover them. But I find myself waking in the morning saying, "It's gonna be a great day!" And then around 10AM saying, "Fuck it, I'm going to have more tootsie rolls."

Incidentally, I cleaned out half of the Halloween loot. I donated it to one of the local offices I have to go to occasionally. 2 older ladies work there who don't have the benefit (?) of taking kids trick-or-treating, therefore they have no candy. So I thought I'd share the wealth. I plan on taking half with me any time I have the opportunity to "donate" it in this way. The cool thing is that I was upfront with Lilly (my oldest) who said, "That was nice, mom. Those ladies probably missed out on Halloween. Now they have treats too." Truth is, she'll get bored with the treats in a couple of weeks (they're rationed out to one per night IF she eats a good dinner). It would take a LONG time for her and her sister to finish off all the Halloween candy.

So, my plan for this week is to eliminate most of my temptation foods from the pantry and shop smart this week at the supermarket. I could say until doomsday that I'm going to have this awesome will power, but to be honest I'm just not there yet. So having no temptation in the house (or at least severely minimizing it) will help in that respect. I'm a chick with a plan. Now just to follow through.