Thursday, March 10, 2011
30 Days of Pictures - Day 30 (Someone I Miss)
I started this "30 Days of Pictures" in mid-January. It obviously took longer than 30 days, but that's ok.
This one I've been putting off for a while because I knew it would be emotional for me. The person I miss the most is my father.
He was an incredible father. He was not without his faults, but he loved us, and he made sure we knew that. He died in 2001 at the age of 77. I often say, "He lived a long life" as if that makes it all ok. It doesn't. I still miss my dad. I miss holding his hand and talking to him on the phone. I miss his voice. I miss him telling stories to me. I realized some time after he died that I'd never get another story from him. Ever. And that hurt just as much as the actual realization that he was really gone. Forever.
Growing up I knew I would be lucky to have my father into my adulthood. He was 52 when I was born. He always stayed busy and always had a project going. When I was younger he did a lot of things outside - he LOVED to be outside. He would tinker in his workshop (which we just called "The Building") all day long after he retired, and often well into the evening. Later, when his health started to falter, he did more things inside and became an accomplished jewelry maker and was also very good at making Dreamcatchers as well.
He was fiercly proud of his Native American (Apache) heritage and read a lot about it. He was convinced he was a direct descendant of Geronimo. But then again he also tried to convince us that he was there when the raised the flag at Iwo Jima, too. He was always telling stories trying to be someone's hero. And I wish to this day that I had told him that he was (and continues to be) mine.
I wish my girls had been able to know their grandfather and that he wasn't just an idea or photograph to them. He was a kind grandfather to my sister's son and I have a feeling that he would have been a pretty dynamite grandfather to my kids as well.
So....I miss my papa. And I always will.
Posted by Colleen on Thursday, March 10, 2011