Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Deal with it

I have had a really tough few weeks, eating / exercising aside. Emotionally I have felt "vacant," if that makes sense. I withstood a very traumatic event which I really don't want to get into details about, but will say it wasn't an act of violence and doesn't have anything to do with something being "done" to me. I have been very thankful for the help, understanding, and ever sensitive ear of my husband. If I hadn't had him these past few weeks I just really don't know what kind of emotional mess I would be. Sorry to be so vague here, but it was a very personal thing and I don't know that I'm ready to talk about it with anyone.

So the "event" aside, I still had to be together for my kids, who know nothing of what happened and probably never will unless they are much much older. I am happy to say, however, this past weekend has helped to pull me out of the fog I had been living in. Time with my three favorite people in the world started mending my broken heart and now it's time to get my health back on track too.

I don't know that it ever feels "good" to eat your way out of depression. And I don't know that I've ever truly, honestly been "comforted" by food at all. So what the hell do I eat non-sensically (I know - not a word) for when I'm feeling down? Seriously I can be halfway through a pop-tart before I realize I'm even eating it and identify that I'm not really hungry.

I feel like I'm coming to the conclusion that I'm just sort of f-ed up mentally.

But anyway. Back on the elliptical and/or treadmill tomorrow!


  1. I'm so glad that I came across this blog. It's great to see someone else who is into living a healthy and fit lifestyle. I myself has lost 125 lbs. and my weight loss story will be featured in the November 2010 issue of Shape magazine. This is really exciting for me! I also have a blog www.LauraGetsFit.com which documents my own weight loss and fitness endeauvers. Come check it out if you're interested :) Anyway, I look forward to reading more of your weight loss journey. Take care! <3 Laura

  2. Sorry to hear about whatever happend. If you ever need someone else to vent to you know that you can always talk to me, no matter what.


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