Friday, January 21, 2011


I'm going through this funny little phase and it always seems to happen to me when I've decided to commit myself to eating more healthfully and eating more.

I start GRIEVING. Mourning. Whatever you want to call it. I feel like my "fun" foods are off limits. I miss them and I desperately want to have them back but I know if I do then I'm off the wagon again and this time is no different from the others.

I'm not saying that I'm depriving myself of things. That's not the case. But a girl has to know her limitations. I know I can't be trusted around leftover sweets. Or leftovers of anything, really. If I start with one tiny bite it escalates into a full-on binge before I can even stop.

And I'm sure lots of you know what that leads to. Guilt. Grief. Self-loathing.

I, for one, am sick and tired of hating myself, or any part of myself. I'm sick of passing by a mirror and averting my gaze. I'm sick of telling myself I'm less than.

And so even though I grieve those "fun" foods, and I think they're gone forever, I do think that one day I'll be ok with them in moderation. Today's just not that day. I get so angry I want to kick the supermarket. I want to head straight to the bakery and throw cupcakes on the floor (and at whatever genius baked them). Right now, I just can't handle it.

So now what, right?

So now I go a little easy on myself. I treat myself like a little kid who is learning to ride a bike for the first time. Would you yell at a kid who was learning to ride a bike? Would you tell them they were stupid if they fell off? Would you encourage them to do their best or would you ridicule them if they made a mistake?

It's time for me to pack up my grief, my mourning and leave it alone for a while. I'm ready to start living.


  1. You have to find things that you like that may not be the exact thing you were having before but are similar. Kind of a nock off..If you go to my recipe section on my page. I came up with that recipe so that I could have that with my husband while watching a movie. I top it with a bit of ice cream. It gets easier!

  2. Thank you Renea! Heading to your recipe section now. My brain right now is in a battle of wits between OLD self and NEW self. The OLD self wants to hang on to all my old "comfortable" habits. NEW self wants to kick OLD self in the gut.

    NEW self is going to win this time.

  3. I agree with renee. I bought the hungry girl cookbook. The pizza is yummy. Along with great recipes for breakfast, snacks, you name it.
    try not to be so hard on yourself. We all do it, but you are making the effort and will succeed!

  4. The previous 2 posters have a point. I have a diet comfort food book that has a lot of fun recipes, from appetizers, to lunch, to soup, to dinner, to desserts...that have been modified to be a lot healthier. I try to stick with that when I'm needing "old me" foods.

    Now, If I could just stay away from the Chinese restaurant.

  5. You should invest in the Taste of Home Guilt Free and Comfort Foods Diet Cookbooks. They are jammed back with those fun foods - but with ingrediants that make them healthy.

    Tonight I'm cooking pork help with my Chinese craving. A serving (a good size serving) is less than 300 calories!!

    They also have snack ideas, desserts...and all really easy to make.

    I used to feel the same way as you - but then i realized I didn't have to stop eating the foods I loved, I just had to figure out ways to make them that made them healthy - and it is possible.


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