I used to be a smoker. For many many years I'd light up and tell myself I was going to quit after this pack. After this one cigarette. Just one more. Just one more. And guess what? I'd quit for a while. Then I'd think that I could handle just smoking one and I'd be hog-nuts on the smoking wagon again.
And even now after many many years of being smoke-free, I know in my heart it would only take one cigarette to make me want to smoke full-time again, no matter how much the habit can disgust me. I know myself enough to know that I'm not the kind of person that can have "just a little bit" and be ok.
With me, it's the same way with eating like crap. It takes "just a little bit" for me to spiral out of control and just not care about what I'm eating. So I have to be careful. I'm not saying I will never ever have cheesecake again. I'm not saying I'll never ever have pizza again, and I'm not saying I'll never ever have potato salad again. I just know that I can't have them RIGHT NOW.
I'm happy to say that I'm well into my second day of trying to refocus. I've had two great workouts, my water is spot on and I'm making healthy choices. But I have to be careful. The first several weeks it's really important for me to be careful and be mindful of what I'm doing. My pal Mary from A Small Loss said it wonderfully.....think about WHY you're eating what you're eating. Not just the what, but the why. I'm trying very hard to do that and keep mindful of what's going in my mouth as well as why I'm putting it there.
I'm taking this one day at a time. It's what I've got to do.
How are you all doing?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I'm really proud of you for climbing back onto that wagon! One day at a time is the way to go, and I know that path will lead you to your goal.
ReplyDeleteI always have a difficult time with mindful eating. If I'm HUNGRY, then that overrules everything. I guess the key, then, is to plan ahead and avoid getting so hungry that I'll eat anything in sight (aside from corn. Or liver.).
And I feel like a horrible mother because I have the most awesome reason to eat healthy -- Kid2.
Anyway. I'm glad you don't smoke anymore. It's yucky. But I bet the smoke kept the Squatches away.
Colleen,
ReplyDeleteIt is all one day at a time. We don't have to worry about the next time we have pizza or cheesecake or potatoes. We just have to accept that we cannot have them now and let it go.
Sounds too familiar. A day at a time indeed. I need to make that my mantra.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing. :]