Sunday, June 26, 2011

What Eating Ice Cream 2 Days In A Row Taught Me

I made the mistake of falling off the wagon yesterday face first - and the wagon ran over me.

It's not that I ate so horribly, really.  Ok, yes - I made some very poor choices.  But unlike the roughly six million other times this has happened, I tracked every last thing that I ate.  Every bite.  And as I sit here writing this, I am feeling regret and remorse but I am not feeling the shame that so often accompanies such days for me. 

So what did I learn over the past few days?  As much as I have a love affair with ice cream - as much as I adore it's cold sweetness and creamy does not love me.  For me, there is no "one serving."  Did you know that one serving of ice cream is 1/2 cup?  And while some days that may seem like a lot to me, it's totally not.  Not for someone like me.  Because someone like me is the type of person who thinks if a little is good, more will be a whole lot better.  Yesterday, I ate a peanut butter cup blizzard.  It tasted....well....heavenly.  I'm not even kidding around here.  It rocked my damn socks.  But you know what else?  About six bites in, I felt like crap.  I was so full from the other stuff I ate that I should have stopped and just tossed it in the trash.  But I think you all know me better than that.  I didn't throw ANY of it away.  I ate every last bite.

I was so physically uncomfortable I thought I was going to vomit.  I thought I was going to die having to sit up straight.  My pants were tight, and my stomach was so full I felt horrible.  I thought - I will never eat ice cream again.

And I didn't.

Until about 20 hours later.  I tried to get around the thought of "no more ice cream" by ordering a milkshake.  Yes.  Not so bright.  I totally justified my "I WANT" mode.  Guess what?  Just because "I WANT" doesn't mean "I WILL."  I drank the milkshake, yes I did.  And while I hadn't stuffed myself beforehand, I still felt like total ass afterward.  Just because every one else in the family is eating ice cream doesn't mean I have to. 

Understand me, though - it's not anyone else's fault but my own that I wasn't in control these past few days.  It was my own doing.  It's also my own responsibility to right the ship.  Consider it righted.  And consider me ice cream free for the foreseeable future.  And if I tell you I want some ice cream, please refer me to this post. Please and Thank You.

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