Sunday, September 4, 2011

The "I Want" vs. The "I Need"

It's no secret that I am completely and helplessly in love with sweets.  In another life I could have been a baker - not that I'm that good at it right now but I feel that I have the aptitude and passion to be fantastic at it if I tried.  I don't try, however, because when I do try - even a little, I eat all of my efforts because I'm simply not strong enough (yet?) to say "only one" when it comes to sweets.

I'm trying to find that balance between the "I Want" part of my brain and the "I Need" part on this weight loss journey of mine.  The "I Want" is what frequently takes over when I'm around a lot of good food like I was last night at a family gathering.  I was ok when the "food-food" was out, but when the desserts came out, I was like a vampire who hadn't fed in a week.  I had (not proud of this) THREE different desserts and if I hadn't been completely and entirely miserable after those I would have had more.  "I Want" had totally taken me down and glazed over my eyes.  (That being said, the desserts were incredible).

The "I Need" could have stepped to the forefront and said, "I Need to keep this to one dessert and enjoy every bite of it."  But the "I Want" is a strong bastard indeed.  The "I Want" shakes it's fat ass until the "I Need" shuts up completely and isn't thought of again until you get that bloated/miserable feeling.  And then you make friends with the "I Need" and hold on to it while you whisper, "Next time I'll listen to you.  I promise.  You're important to me."

It's easy to side with "I Want" in the heat of passion.  And by passion I mean when you're confronted with whatever happens to be your food kryptonite.  For some it's salty/savory foods.  For some it's cheese.  For some it's soda.  For me, certainly, it's sweets.  The "I Want" looks so damn cute and alluring to you that you think, "Just this once.  Then it's back to being all hardcore.  For real" - and then you start holding hands with that handsome "I Want" and the two of you decide doing a little damage together won't hurt. Nobody'll know and it'll be just fine.

But really, truly, you know it's not the best idea. 

So the balance I'm looking for?  I want to hang out with both "I Want" and "I Need" simultaneously.  Why do I have to pick one?  I want to keep "I Want" at bay.  I plan to keep the "I Need" with me daily and have a quickie with "I Want" now and then.  Not often, mind you.  And the "I Want" is going to scale back considerably.  But I just can't get rid of it all together.  I know some of you will say I should.  That I should send "I Want" packing and maybe some day I will.  But for now, I'm going to build a solid relationship with "I Need" and visit "I Want" sporadically. 

That's just something I have to do right now.  And this journey is discovering what you have to do RIGHT NOW, each moment of each day, to be successful.  To each their own.  If it doesn't work for you, that's ok.  If it doesn't work for me, I use the blocks I've got to build the best tower that'll support me while I learn as I go.

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